路漫漫其修远兮
昨晚因为牙齿的原因做啥都集中不了精力,就那么懒散的挂在 google talk 上。老丁突然发了个消息过来:
“你们的东西,能否给我一个里程碑啊。都2年了,什么都没有看到。”
我知道终有一天,我会遇到这个提问。两年多以后才被问起已经很不错了,但是我还是没有答案。只是简单的回了一句:
“只是没有给玩家看的东西”
想了一下,又继续解释,“我们在抓紧做。现在有个可以看的 demo 是没有意义的, 那意味着以后肯定会废弃掉”
人生倒是没有几年,能专心做一件事情就很不容易了。一做起来时间会过的很快。
一直努力在做,这是一个好的理由吗?我只觉得,要达到我的目标,即使换一个环境、换一些人、多一些资本,我不能做的更快了。即使偶尔的懒散,偶尔的松懈,一切也是为了尽快的做完而付出的。我比谁都想把项目做好,把项目完成。它已经成了我这几年生活的唯一目的。
我想很难有人可以理解我的感受。两年半以前从公司分出来,独自一人重新组建一个小小的团队。我感受不到压力,也不担心压力。因为这已是我自己唯一要做的事,所有要去想的是如何完美的结束它。有技术上要解决的问题;有工作量的问题;有人的组织的问题。外人的急迫或期盼不会有什么正面或负面的影响,不会因此提升或降低质量和效率。
想起零五年,天气还不太热的时候,唐先生请我在人民广场边那栋高高的大厦顶楼喝了一杯果汁。我的另一个老朋友陈,使他来当我的说客。但他无法说服我任何事情。因为我自己满是迷茫。一个不知道自己需要什么的人,听不进任何的话语。那次就那么短短的结束,而我也明白了,如果找不到长远的追求,那么只有给自己竖立一个短期的目标,全心去完成它。如果拼尽全力而只能放弃或敷衍了结,那么此生都只会是一个失败者,再没有机会;而成功了,至少可以证明我有能力再选择一个新的挑战。
写下这篇不知所云的文章,只为了总结一下自己。除了我,没有第二个目标读者。
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